Tuesday, 8 March 2011

The wise-and-all-knowing Kel has decided to enlighten you to her golden rules of life. You are a lucky bunch! Ha!
On a serious note, modern life is hard and trying to claw our way through it whilst being a kind and thoughtful human being is not always an easy task.  I (try to) keep to these little nuggets of wisdom to keep me level headed, they come from great people such as The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, The Pope and Helen Keller.

  • When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. 
  • Be kind whenever possible.  It is always possible.
  • See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little.
  • An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.
  • Whatever you do will be insignificant, but is very important that you do it.
  • Never bend your head.  Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.
  • Everything has it's beauty, but not everyone sees it. 
  • Sleep is the best meditation.

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Dress code - Wobbly

Being a girly girl, fashion is important to me....clothes, jewellery, shoes and bags, I love shopping for them, owning them and wearing them - ask anyone who knows about my 'shoe' closet! But I have found myself in rather an upsetting position over the past couple of years - my body's changed. Yeah, yeah, I hear you say, whose hasn't, but I have actually found myself on the verge of tears quite a few times. I used to be a UK size 8/10, not hugely skinny these days but still very slim. These days I'm comfortably in a size 12, again not drastic (I can practically hear you rolling your eyes people) but it's the change in body shape that's most difficult to deal with.

This recent tear-fest has been bought about because once again I'm searching for an outfit for a night on the town. I'm not (that) old but hitting the bars and clubs along side a whole heap of skinny, cellulite free teenagers is enough to make me stuff the shots of Jagermeister and just down the bottle. Whilst I was taking a couple of years out to make and deliver a baby a whole new wave of youngsters acquired their ID and starting painting the town red, I innocently started going back out and spent the night wondering if I had accidently stepped into an under-age disco!

I think it's a combination of having a sproglet and just getting older but things are there that definitely never used to be. My hips are slightly wider, fair enough, makes sense but what is this extra padding? If any waistband dares to be too tight I have what I think people refer to as a cough-muffin top-cough - sorry kills me to say it! When did that come about? I never noticed! Just seems like a damn joke from Mother Nature. And don't mention the mummy tummy....uh Lord! I think it's always going to have a jiggle no matter what and if anyone male mentions 'sit ups' I will take them DOWN. So I now have to learn to dress for a more 'hourglass' shape, though it's made more of jelly than glass. I have to learn to accentuate my waist whilst strapping down my cake bits (still can't say m****n t*p). Then we come to the legs...my girls and I always had a tradition of agreeing to all wear dresses when we had a big night out. I used to shave, moisturise and stick my highest heels on. Now its, dry brush, shave, exfoliate, moisturise, tan, apply highlighting bronzer down front of leg and then put on highest heels I can find. This is all to make my legs look smoother, longer and therefore thinner, urgh! But even that's got worse, to my horror, I think I have discovered I have fat knees. Is that possible? Is this Mother Nature having a damn giggle again. I swear its true, they look, kinda, wobbly. And don't even get me started on my cankles. So I'm toying with the I'm-so-too-cool-for-school-I-just-have-to-wear-skinny-jeans idea, couple those with a cake hiding top and job done!! Though it does seem just a little bit of a shame for all the cute little dresses out there :-(

I don't think stores help with their messed up sizing guides. I still wear a pair of casual trousers from Miss Selfridge that are a size 8 and yet had the worst experience recently with Topshop that nearly made me buy a pair of size 16 trousers?? Topshop, achingly trendy Topshop, worshipped by celebs here and in the US...I am thinking of renaming it but I won't mention it on here as it's too rude. See, I went in for a pair of tailored black trousers, easy peasy surely. I found a pair in the right leg length and in a size 12, they looked really really small so I caved in and took a 12 and 14 into the changing room. The 12? Don't ask. The 14 was okay-ish! To be really really comfortable I would have needed the 16. WTF??? Here's the thing, they fitted my hips but weirdly left my crotch area baggy...so some little skinny, hip and happening 22 year old in London is trying to tell me my hips are too big for my vagina? Hmmmmmm? Me thinks I will be sending a rather curt email to 'Toppers'. My opinion is that the UK fashion industry try to come up with a more standardised sizing guide, admitted we are all different body shapes, but there has to be some way to stop poor women like me crying on the changing room floor and then flinging the items harshly back at the (size 6) sixteen year old who gaily asks "were they okay for you madam?". Madam??? I'm 32!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the moral of the story is to learn to work with what you've got. Look after yourself by all means, eat well and exercise (as we all know this is for the inside as well as the outside) but don't start vomiting your meals up to be a size 8. You may have to start trying on items that you may have previously discounted and tune into Gok Wan weekly but it can be done. If in doubt remember your two best friends, shaping underwear and absolutely fantastic gorgeous bags. Now I'm off to cut some labels out of my clothes ;-)







Not the skinniest girls ever, but still gorgeous! See?

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

The Mother Hood

This is a strange little gem.  It happened to me four and half years ago.  What a shock.  You see, I never wanted children, they were okay in small doses and if they belonged to someone else.  I had friends with kids and always prided myself on the fact that my Husband and I could go wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted, spend our money on frivolities and basically stay the sane ones in the group.  I had no desire whatsoever to go through the horror of what my mummy friends had described to me (sometimes with evil smiles on their faces), I wanted to stay skinny and sleep in till whatever time I desired.  Then a bomb fell on my world.
My lovely little git of a Husband suddenly broached the subject of kids.  He was now 30 and thought maybe it would be nice to be a Dad!!!! Wtf? We had been singing from the same hymn sheet I swear.  Now, I love my Husband very much and respect him just the same, he is the voice of reason when I am going off on whatever little crusade I have in my head at the time.  I've learnt from experience to listen to him..okay, okay, half listen to him, so when I had picked myself up off the floor and brushed myself down, I decided to listen to him and think about it.  The bloody broodiness was contagious I must admit, I did think about being called Mummy, about having Grandchildren around when we were old, pushing a buggy around with people looking in and cooing. So at some strange point, I agreed to go ahead.
I will totally miss out all the pregnancy goop as it's really not that interesting, but will fast forward to the night I went into labour.  It was four days after my due date and I had been (finally) enjoying the pregnancy but was now really worried about becoming a mum, I think I had accepted the pregnancy but was still yet to deal with the fact we were having a real life baby . I had been laying in bed reading (with Tim snoring at my side) and the baby had been having a little kick-the-crap-out-of-mum-session, I put my book down and said to the bump "I know you are coming soon, and that's okay, I'm fine with it and whenever you're ready, I'm ready". Simple as that, I had made my peace.  I picked up my book and as I went to adjust my reading position, my waters broke, honesttogod!
Again I will save you falling asleep by missing out the labour and fast forward 12 weeks.  By this point I was pretty much over my injuries (mwahahahahaha) and finally fully bonded with my babe (don't ask).  I was very much in love and I have to say quiet impressed.  Isabella was sleeping through the night (she did from 6 weeks), downed her bottles with no fuss, was always sociable and was absolutely beautiful.  I was converted!!
Four and a half year later, she is pretty much the same, though off the bottles! And I am still madly in love.  She manages to wrap me round her finger and we both know it, I will do anything to make her happy.  To love someone who consistently does everything they can to get you to lose your marbles is a very weird one to explain....if your partner/boyfriend/Husband acted that way they would be kicked out and consigned to the history books but your child has a pass key to press all those buttons. And they do. Daily. But the love doesn't seem to wane, it just intensifies.  Its a whole weird roller-coaster of love, worry, stress and pride and all parents ride it, no matter what you think.  
Isabella entertains me daily, example; last nights robot dance and loves me back unconditionally.  She brings back the appreciation of all the small things, Christmas, flowers, a starry night, you see the world through their eyes and get a second chance on things your adult mind forgot.  She has also introduced me to things I would rather forget; Spanx, never being able to bounce on a trampoline and the fact that the word vaginoplasty has been entered into my web browser...shudder. 
I'm also having to learn how to make mistakes and not crucify myself for them.  I am a control freak, I like things just so and I don't like not being able to hold the reigns but having a child also means messing up sometimes and learning to live with it.  Dropping your kid on it's head is not okay but forgetting to put underwear on them one day (yes I have done it) is not going to stop the earth from turning.  You have a brilliant plan of how you're going to do this child rearing process and it all pretty much goes out of the window by day two, but if by the end of the day they are asleep comfortably in their bed and you are finally sitting down to a glass of wine and Desperate Housewives then pat yourself on the back because you've done it! A whole day out the way and they're fine.  Now you just have to do it all again tomorrow!! It's hard, you don't get paid or appreciated but it's got to be the best job in the world. :-)

Hello there strange blogger world....

Ok, so I'm gonna blog.  
Someone suggested that a good way of getting all those annoying little thoughts out of your head and therefore lessen your stress, is to write them all down.  Well I have a lot of thoughts.  Some of them normal, some of them totally useless and random.  But I am a very stressy person and I have just undertaken the task of trying to chill out.  Ha!
My life isn't amazing, far from it. I'm 32, married and a Mum to a lovely little 4 year old girl.  We live in a cute little house in a nice town, my Husband works a good job and I have been taking a year out of employment to be with my Daughter before she starts school. But I still manage to stress and worry about all the little details encased in that life...my Daughter, my marriage, money, the house, the dog...and it goes on and on.  On top of all this I swear I am having a early mid life crisis.  Where do I fit in the world, have I done enough with my life so far, what happens when we die, should I change my career and so on. Blah blah blah.  I'm obviously programmed to be a worrier, it must be in my genes...I asked my Hubby once, "What do you think about when you go to sleep at night?" Fair enough question I thought. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  Its just black. And then I fall asleep!" 
Oh to be able to have that silence in my little head.  "Did I feed the hamster? God, the hamster' gonna be dead in the morning! Is the outside light switched off? Will it cause a fire? What am I going to wear on a night out in two weeks? When did I get fat? I'm not going to be able to find anything to wear!!! Is Isabella going to be ok at school? Will she ask to go the toilet?  I must get Angel's vaccinations sorted, parvo is rife at the minute. God, she was rather quiet this evening! Oh no,the dog's got parvo! What is parvo? Can humans get it? God, we're all going to die from parvo? No, more likely to die from the lack of vegetables in our diet. I should feed Isabella more vegetables. I bet her school summon me in for sending her there emaciated. Or could she be destined for childhood obesity? She does eat a lot of chocolate! Argh!!!!" And that's three minutes in my head...jeez.
Sooooooooo, maybe writing about these worries, getting them down on paper, well laptop, will grant me some serenity in my head.....maybe!